mrsmomdragon

Sharing my adventures, thoughts and occassional jokes. Sorting through laundry, and a little bit of life…This is How I Train My Dragons…

Think Before You Speak…

on August 31, 2013

“If you can’t say anything nice”…

We’ve all heard it.

When I was little, I remember getting told that occasionally. Now, as a mom, I have found myself saying the same thing to my own kids. It’s usually when they’re in a heated argument over who gets to sit in the middle seat or a great debate over who ate the last piece of licorice. Usually, I am able to end the arguments pretty swiftly by confessing that, “IT WAS ME! I ate the last piece, and it was GOOD!”

Yes, my kids fight. And yes, sometimes, when they do…they don’t say very nice things.

We’re all guilty. Things have been said that we wish we could take back. Words spew out of our mouths that should have gone through some type of filter first. But once the words have been spoken, they’re out.

Emaleigh came home from school yesterday and explained to me that a friend of hers told her, “So and so doesn’t like your haircut because it makes you look fat.”

Wow.

As she told me this, her eyes began to well up with tears. I thought to myself, what compels people to say such things; such mean and hurtful things. Things that now, every time Emaleigh looks in the mirror, is going to question.

The worst part of this: So and So… is an adult. A grown woman who is sharing her thoughts on my daughters haircut to others. Sharing it in a manner, or around people, that she figured it would never get back to my little girl…yet, it did. And those words can never be undone.

I have heard adults talk about other adults. Kids talk about other kids. But, I cannot figure out for the life of me, why something like this is being said from an adult about a child. My child. This might sound petty to some, and maybe it is, but I just don’t understand. So what if she didn’t like Emaleigh’s haircut? So. What.

So now, I find myself wanting to tell a grown adult, “If you can’t say anything nice”…

My heart breaks for my little girl who is just coming into her own. Who has just recently taken an interest into doing her own, beautiful hair. She has always been so independent…wanting to do everything on her own. But, it hasn’t been until just recently that she has taken an interest in her hair. So, I let her do it herself . No, her ponytails aren’t always straight, or one side of her hair might be a little “fluffy”, but it’s how she likes to do it. And, she looks beautiful. She looked beautiful with long hair, and she looks just as beautiful with short.

It’s about this age that young girls begin to take notice of their appearance a little bit more. I know for Emaleigh, she has been a little bit more conscience of what she looks like before she takes off to school, or even before we go to Wal-Mart. Yes, Wal-Mart.

I’m so proud of the young woman that she is becoming…and I’m so proud of how she handled herself, even though I’m sure her heart broke just a little bit when she heard those words.

As I sit and write this, tears stream down my face for her. My little girl, who is not fat. My little girl, who cut 12 inches of her hair off to donate to other little girls who have had cancer and have lost their own. My little girl, that did that not because she was asked to, but because she wanted to. My little girl, who is not perfect, and doesn’t try to be. My little girl, who had a little piece of her taken away because of those words.

Tears stream down my face for every little girl who has even been told, “you look fat”. Although the comments might be seemingly harmless, they can leave a lasting remark that can never be undone.

I ask you…no, I beg you to think before you speak.

Again, I know we are all guilty of saying things or doing things that we regret. Sometimes even saying things that we don’t even realize has hurt the other person. Yet, it does…more times than we know. And now, as a result of a careless mouth of an adult, I am trying to pick up the pieces of my little girls heart.

Think before you speak.

Especially if it’s concerning a child. Think before you say it. Just think.

“The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.”

Proverbs 18:21 NLT

Em's Haircut

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9 responses to “Think Before You Speak…

  1. Reblogged this on the prodragonist and commented:
    I love my daughter.

  2. Andrea says:

    Caiti, I am so sorry that someone was so irresponsible. My heart is breaking for you and Emaleigh. How dare someone say such hurtful things toward such a beautiful and caring young lady who is incredibly selfless in so many of her actions. Please tell Emaleigh that we love her and are so proud of the young lady she is becoming. Lots of love, The Correll’s

  3. Sally Glade says:

    Caiti, someone told my daughter that she was fat when she was a teenager. It was 2 insensitive men from out church. It was very painful and I’m not sure how it impacted her life but she is now in her 30’s and very successful in her career and she was radiant at her wedding last week! I guess sometimes pain makes one a stronger person but it’s not easy on mommies and daddies to see that happen. I was livid and I addressed both men and asked them to apologize to my daughter, one did and the other did not. Guess which one is still in our lives? God Bless Emaleigh, He will make her a strong Christian woman with your and Ray’s help! (from Sally Glade)

  4. Carissa Rose says:

    Your daughter is beautiful and she did and even more BEAUTIFUL thing!!! I am a hair dresser and brave girls like her should be given an award!!!! It’s hard to understand why people say and do the things they choose to, but in the end who will feel better at the end of the day??? A woman who reaps happiness from tearing down a girl who has a heart of gold, or a little girl who has the strength to truly be who she is!!!! :)

  5. Shera Davis says:

    What a beautiful soul that little one is already! I can only imagine how she will continue to blossom. She must have an amazing Momma to help her ;) well written!

  6. People are idiots. Your daughter is adorable. Not that it isn’t exhausting enough to teach our own children….now it appears we would have to teach adults, as well.
    No wonder moms are always so tired.

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