Sharing my adventures, thoughts and occassional jokes. Sorting through laundry, and a little bit of life…This is How I Train My Dragons…

You Just Do…

I’ve always wanted multiple kids. Ever since I was a little girl, I had it planned that I would have one boy and one girl; Tristan and Shelby. Shelby was the name of my great-great grandfather and Tristan…well, that was one of Brad Pitt’s characters. Don’t judge.

Anyway, right after Emaleigh (yep, my childhood dream names went right out the window) turned a year old, we found out that we would be having another child the following June. I was excited, but I was so scared at the same time. How in the world was I supposed to split my love between my kids? I pray I’m not the only mom who had those thoughts go through her mind. Opening my heart up to our first child seemed so seamless and so easy and since we loved her SO much, how could I possibly have more love in my heart to give to another child? “Sharing my love” seems so trivial and silly now, but I can honestly say that I lost sleep over it as we prepared for our 2nd child’s arrival. We hadn’t been a family of 3 for too long, but long enough for it to be our normal.  Would Em feel less love? Would the baby get more love? Would the baby get enough love? Would Em feel left out? Would the baby feel left out? Crazy, I know.

That February, we found out the 2nd baby would actually be a boy. Wait, I’ve only had a girl, so will I know what to do with a boy? Yes, I am the little sister of 2 boys, so I know how they are…but I don’t think I’m capable of raising a boy…I’ve only began raising a girl. Yes, pregnancy brain is a real thing here people.

Well, the time came for the baby to make his arrival, and let me tell you, he was ready! We had time to get up to our room, lay down for a few moments and he was ready…I was not. After Emaleigh I swore that I would never get an epidural again, but as the contractions were getting stronger with the 2nd baby, I was beginning to have second thoughts. But, it didn’t matter what I wanted, it was too late for any medication at this point.

I don’t remember how many times I pushed with him, but it wasn’t many. At 1:23am on June 29, 2006, Elijah Augustine was born.  He was such a beautiful little…who am I kidding? He was beautiful, but he was definitely not little. He was 9 lbs and 21 inches long with a single dimple…big boy! Immediately, all of those thoughts that kept me awake so many nights before, escaped my mind. How could such a fragile little baby already have taught me so much about myself as a mama. He believed in me and knew I was capable of doing everything with no meds, and at his first breath of life he proved to me how important it is to have confidence and believe in yourself. I will forever be grateful for my Bubba (yes, that’s your nickname for life when you’re a 9 lb chunk of cuteness) and the lesson that, as a baby, he never even knew that he taught me.

Today, that same 9 lb baby, turns 11 years old. I am still in awe of all of the lessons that I have learned through his sweet spirit. He is my boy who still wants to hold my hand, snuggle his family, and use his imagination. He is the best little brother, best big brother, greatest inventor, builder, and still has his adorable dimple. He is sensitive, yet bold. He’s not afraid to take chances and is always the first in our family to suggest an adventure. He’s our Bubba.

You’ll never be able to prepare yourself for the birth of your child, and even with all of the preparations in the world, you still won’t be able to completely be ready for the love that overwhelms you when you first meet your child’s gaze. Just know that you will have infinite amounts of love in your heart, no matter how many children you have…you just do. 

Happy 11th birthday, Elijah. You are SO loved, and we Thank God for you every day.


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