Sharing my adventures, thoughts and occassional jokes. Sorting through laundry, and a little bit of life…This is How I Train My Dragons…

Let the Nudge Budge You

A little over two years ago, I felt a little “nudge” in my spirit. It caught me off guard because this quiet whisper in my soul was to do something that I never thought I could do.

At the time, I was serving in the church nursery where I had served since we began attending Mosaic. I was comfortable there. One day, there was a tug on my heart and I heard, worship team. Haha, right. The girl who is extremely uncomfortable in front of others? The girl who never went for the solos in high school? The same girl who was currently struggling in college with the amount of oral presentations that she needed to give? The girl who immediately turns red when asked to pray in a group? No way would God have been talking to me. That little nudge must have been directed at someone else and I just happened to get in the way of that. There is NO WAY that God would call me to do something that would make me so uncomfortable…I mean, He knows my fear of public speaking right? Being on a worship team ON STAGE can’t be too far from that!

Anyway, with a little encouragement from Ray, I decided to sing a duet with him to ease into it a little bit. Although I felt like my legs were spaghetti, my face was as red as a tomato, and I am pretty sure that I sped up the song just to get it over with…I did it. A few weeks went by and the worship leader, Caleb said, “Hey, I think you’re ready to lead a song!”

Whaaaaaat? (In my best minion voice) “God, I was totally ok with being a background singer, you know that right?” Ugh. Of course He does. But, I listened and I actually led some songs. I remember one week Caleb scheduled me for a song that normally another girl sang. A girl with some serious pipes! I mean, she was good.  All of the insecurities and unworthiness began to creep in and I remember messaging him saying that I wasn’t sure I was comfortable singing her song because she was SO GOOD and I didn’t want to mess it up! I will never forget the text that I got back from him that said, “Caiti, we all have different voices, but everyones needs to be heard. You’re going to do great.” Isn’t it funny how with just a little encouragement from your friends and loved ones, your whole perspective can change?

Although originally, the thought of the worship team scared me to death, I thank God for placing me on that team. I have made new friends, grown as an individual, and have been able to be a part of something so much bigger than me.

I’m not going to say that it has been a piece of cake because I’m learning so much about myself as I go along, or that I don’t second guess myself sometimes (like when I forget a complete verse of a song)…but, I will say that it has been easier because I know who is within me, and I know Who these songs are being sung for. Yes, public speaking still ranks #1 on my list of Caiti’s Scariest Things, but being on stage during worship is nothing like that.

As I was thinking about this, I thought about another time that I felt a similar nudge. I had all of these stories to share and I felt a stir-start a blog. Again, I let all of the doubt settle in. Who am I to write a blog and really who would read my silly stories? But guess what, starting this blog was one of the best things I have ever done. Not only has it been healing for me, but I truly believe that through these words, others are able to heal a little as well…even if it’s just through laughter.

I’ve learned that God wants to push us. Not to embarrass us or make us uncomfortable…but because He knows we can do it!God has a really good way of revealing things within us that we never knew were even there. But with His nudges and whispers we slowly learn what we truly are capable of doing.

If you feel like you are being nudged, don’t ignore it because you don’t feel like you’re qualified or because you may feel that there is someone else better for the job. He knows what He’s doing…pay attention to those nudges and trust the process.




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