mrsmomdragon

So, I have to share. I just submitted my first “piece” (still sounds weird) to the Greeley Tribune Mom Team editorial that I have asked to be a part of.  I feel like I just drank a Rockstar. Not the little one either…the great, big, tall one… with a lid! I have so many thoughts, ideas and just stuff going through my head right now. I am so excited and happy, yet I feel like if I watch an episode of The Voice or X-Factor I might lose control of this huge lump I have in my throat! I am completely thrilled that I was asked to take part of the Tribune’s venture to add “online only” content, and even better, that it’s geared towards Mom’s!   The even cooler part is that there will be a link from my tribune pieces directly to my blog. I am pumped can you tell? I feel like a complete dork because I feel like I just took a tiny piece of paper out of my pocket, unfolded it, and I’m about to thank everyone who made this possible. 🙂 Don’t worry…we’ll go to commercial break instead. Anyway, thanks to all of you who take time to read my crazy blogs! Look for me at greeleytribune.com coming soon!

So, tonight I sit here with Ray watching the Denver Broncos play…on our tv…together.  Never in our entire marriage, did I ever think we would be watching football…on our tv…together. Ever since I have known him, Ray has never been one to perk up his ears when he has heard Monday Night Football…it’s more of a tune out. This has never bothered me because, honestly, although I would consider myself a Bronco fan, I don’t sit and watch the games either. Then, we leave it up to Facebook and Twitter to give us the play by plays and game winning announcements. 

But, this last week, Ray decided to give watching football a try. We have been eagerly waiting this Monday night football game (even though I had to ask what time it was on about 6 times today). When I got ready this morning, I put on my orange and blue shirt, my Bronco socks, blew up a giant football, and got out my dusty horse head helmet. Unfortunately, I then looked at the clock and realized I still had about 10 hours until kickoff. Then, when time got closer of course, the kids and I went to the store and got “football” food and came home…again, anxiously awaiting the game! Ray got home, we ate our pizza, Doritos, bean dip and drank our orange Fanta (I know true Bronco fans drink Orange Crush, but I am frugal and Fanta was only $1)…and it was time! We all found our seats on the couch, got out the board games, began to play Headbanz, the football game started and it….was….so…awkward.

I have to admit, it felt so unfamiliar I was almost uncomfortable. What do they say? Football is like the hearbeat of America…wait, that’s Chevy. However the saying goes, I know that football is an intricate part of our society, yet in our house…on our tv…it is weird! 

Have you ever done something that you thought would be a great idea, but it left you feeling so uncomfortable you wanted to back out? I turned 30 this last month, and it really made me realize that if I am not uncomfortable within my skin sometimes, I’m not doing something right. In other words, if I am not doing something that challenges me, I’m not going to grow. This is why I have decided to begin writing a blog. The first blog I wrote scared the crap out of me…As soon as I pushed send, I became my worst critic. What are people going to think? Am I really as funny as I think I am? For any of you that know me, I am not a public speaker…that is why a blog sounded so tempting to me. Recently, I had my first meeting as PTO president within our school (didn’t I just say I’m not a public speaker?), and once again…I have never felt so uncomfortable.

I looked up the definition of strange and it says: Unusual or surprising in a way that is unsettling or hard to understand. There you have it…not everything that makes you uncomfortable is bad. It can be surprising, yet hard to understand. I don’t understand many things (like why I was selected for a leadership position, or even the talk of “rent a refs”) but I do know that I am growing as a person, and I am excited about that.

I am all about growth and bettering yourself, which is why I have been so supportive and excited for Ray when he decided he wanted to start watching football. He has been SO unbelievably supportive with the small steps that I have taken over these last few months, so I want to do the exact same for him. So, if I could leave you with a tidbit of advice tonight it would be this: No matter how big or small their dream is, always be supportive of your spouse. It might be uncomfortable because it’s not something that you can understand, but be there for them. Even if you’re sitting on a couch with luke warm bean dip and a watered down Fanta, trying to understand those crazy robot hand signals the refs do… at least you’re doing it together. I love my husband, and his new found love for football, and the Denver Broncos.

Today was the very first time that Eydan (my 14 month old) got the opportunity of playing at the McDonald’s Play Place…and let me tell you, it was just how I imagined it would go. After a few tries, he finally managed to climb up the very first step…with a little help from his forehead, he was standing at the mouth of the multicolored monster! He paused there for a second, turned around to look at Ray and I (almost as if he was saying his final goodbyes) and headed up the plastic spiral staircase. There were giggles, and playful screams coming from Eydan and his little friend Steven that we brought along, and pretty soon Steven comes down the slide. Eydan was stuck in the intestines of the monster to fend for himself. Pause. Commence the “Eydan scream”. He was in an unfamiliar place, surrounded by sticky plastic (and probably some foul smells), and not sure how he was ever going to escape. 

Mommy to the rescue. After circling the equipment to try to figure out where he was exactly, I finally came to the conclusion that he was in the slide. Let me back up about 20 years because that’s probably the last time I climbed UP a  bright red, cylindrical, corkscrew slide…the monster’s intestines. I head in the slide, only to pause and look back at Ray just like Eydan did because I thought for sure this would be the last time I saw his face. (In all reality though, I turned around to make sure he wasn’t getting out his phone to take a picture of my fanny hanging out of the slide that was about to engulf me…to my surprise, he wasn’t).

I head up the slide. Eydan is still screaming which makes me climb even faster…that hurts 30 year old knees, let me tell you. I get half way up the slide, and here comes Eydan shooting down like a bolt of lightening, with a HUGE smile on his face! I was so proud of him! I could even imagine him, speaking in an Australian accent (kind of like Steve Irwin), “Crickey, there’s only one way out of this monster, mate…I’m going to have to slide down right out of it’s belly. Cheerio!” No clue why I picture him speaking like that, or if Australian’s say “Cheerio” …but it’s pretty funny to think of.  Anyway, I catch Eydan half way down the slide, and we slide (more like scooch) down the rest of the slide together. Phew. Glad that’s over, now I can go finish my lunch. Oh wait, he’s on his way back up the stairs. 

This time, he got half way up the stairs, and realized he wanted to come back down. Daddy to the rescue this time… (I couldn’t get my phone out in time to snap a picture of his fanny hanging out of the staircase). All Eydan needed was to hold a finger…not even a hand. He wanted 1 finger to help him down the stairs. Ray brings him over to the table and with a frightened look on his face says, “Houston, we have a problem.” He holds Eydan up and to our dismay, he has no diaper on, yet his pants are still buttoned. Not only do I have a mini Steve Irwin for a son, he’s also a magician! How in the world does this happen? Ray and I couldn’t quit laughing once we looked at Eydan’s bulging leg…his diaper was stuffed down one pant leg. He tricked us, once again. I like to think it was some sort of defense tactic he used when he was stuck in the guts of the monster. 

Until next time, McDonald’s Play Place.

Not sure if many people know, but September is Childhood Cancer Awareness month, and tonight one of my favorite 4 year old girls is on my heart. One year and a month ago, she was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL). I remember getting the phone call and all I could do was sit, numb on the couch. What could I possibly do for 2 of my best friends, their daughter, and their brand new, two day old baby.

I started watching Leah when she was 2 months old, up until about 3 months before she was diagnosed. I have always treated her as one of my own kids, and Elijah and her have always been such great friends. For some reason they have always had a special bond. (I like to think it’s because some day they’ll be married.) Anyway, I remember the last winter that I had Leah, we had a mouse in the house. For any of you that know me well, I don’t like mice, at all. In fact, if I see one, I usually let out a very annoying scream, start to cry, and then I jump on the closest thing I can get to. That day, it was our kitchen table. As soon as Leah heard me crying on the phone to Ray, she came running in the kitchen. She looked at me, and saw the complete fear on my face, and she proceeded to get up on top of the table and just sit there with me. I had a house full of kids that day because it was Christmas break, but Leah was the only one who came into the room. She knew I was terrified, so she just sat. I remember telling her it was alright and she could go play with the other kids, but she looked at me and said, “It’s ok Miss Caiti, I’ll sit with you.” So we sat…and sat. We were on top of the kitchen table for a good 30 minutes when we finally decided to get down…together.

I know that this last year has been the most difficult year for Leah’s entire family, and friends included. Leah has made more visits to Children’s Hospital than any child should ever have to make in their entire lifetime. Her family is one of the most generous, loving families I have ever come to know…and I feel so blessed to be part of such a special little girl’s life. For a while, it was hard to see the light in Leah’s beautiful blue eyes…cancer is ugly. That was probably the hardest time for me, was seeing Leah completely wiped of any energy…to even walk up the stairs to her bedroom. No child, parent, Nana, Mimi, Papa, cousin, Aunt, Uncle, or friend should ever have to go through what Leah’s family has been through…but I just want them to all know how much they are loved. Although some days might seem dark, I will always be here to “sit on your kitchen table” with you, just like Leah sat with me.

The world is definitely a more beautiful place with Miss Leah in it. She has touched more people than she will ever know, and I hope this encourages others to reach out…you never know when someone needs you to just sit with them.

Please, if you get a chance, go like “Free Leah’s Butterfly” on Facebook, and check out the beautiful video for Leah’s “Cancerversary”.  Miss Caiti loves you little Leah.

So I should probably be sitting here folding these 3 overly full laundry baskets of clothes, but instead, I would like to share a story. 

Yesterday morning, I was feeling a little overwhelmed doing my morning “routine” of waking the kids up for school.(I like to picture myself like a whispering fairy gently flying into their room, and kissing their cheeks to wake them up…but in reality I probably sound more like a drill sergeant). Anyway, as I am finally getting Emaleigh nudged enough to where she’s sitting up in bed, Elijah walks in. The first thing she says is, “Bubba, were you crying for Batman at like 1 o’clock this morning?” He just kind of giggled and replied, “Oh yeah, I meant to call Mommy, but I called the wrong name.” Both of the kids just started giggling, Em got down from bed, and Elijah returned to his room. 

Knowing that they had both forgotten about it, I didn’t bring it up again…but I thought about it ALL DAY LONG. I couldn’t help but feel special that my 6 year old boy, who LOVES Superheroes had mistaken my name for Batman! Now, some might think, “Well, Caiti they DO sound alot alike. Easy mistake. Mommy…Batman. I’m sure he just got mixed up.” But to me…this is HUGE. Then it hit me. Although it was just a half asleep mistake…deep down, I might really be his Batman! Woah! 

Boy, do I feel under-qualified to take on such a name! Then I thought about the power of a MOM. We really are like Superheroes! We do so much for not only our kids, but for our entire family. So much of our “Bruce Wayne” (Batman’s real name…wow, a little bit of “dork” just popped out of my mouth) is pushed aside so that we can take on the role of “Batman”. Just like in the movies, something always goes wrong, but in the end, Batman redeems himself. As a mom, I can totally relate to this. There are days where I feel like nothing goes right…the sprinkler broke so I have to take 2 hours to fix it, ran out of milk so can’t make what I had planned for lunch, dropped the iron so I can’ t iron work shirts, washer overflows so I can’t wash clothes! I know, Batman has MUCH worse days, right? But then there are some days where I feel like I am on top of the world..I have laundry done, dishes put away, kids down for a nap, floors mopped, dinner in the oven…I have even showered and gotten dressed (That’s HUGE) All in all, the life of a superhero is sometimes stressful, and some jobs go overlooked…but in the end, my “superhero” life is totally worth it.

Here’s to all of the “Batman’s” I know…

I might not be able to save the world…but I have the ability to save their day…and possibly the burned casserole in the oven. I might not have a bat signal, but I have a baby monitor that works just the same! I don’t have a cape, but I could sew a pretty awesome one. I might not know how to fight the “bad guys”, but I pray with my kids every night…and that’s a start. 

“Mommy, the worst part of my day is that my friends were mean to me…what am I going to do tomorrow if I don’t have any friends?” Ugh.

One of my favorite parts of  my daily routine is picking the kids up from school. Asking them all kinds of questions, to which their usual response is, “I don’t remember” or “recess”. But my heart breaks just a little when I hear they’ve had a bad day.  I am their mom. I am supposed to protect them from this cruel and nasty world that we live in…but I can’t always do that.  Granted, Elijah is only 6 years old, but I can still see the pain in his little round face. Wondering what it’s going to be like tomorrow…I’ll bet that the little boys that weren’t very nice to him have probably forgotten, and life as a 1st grade boy will continue as usual…but for right now, he’s hurt. It’s this kind of hurt that I have always dreaded as a Mom. I can handle the bumps and bruises, but it’s the hurt feelings, and cracked hearts that make me cringe.

In the last 2 years of my life, I have felt hurt like I never even thought was imaginable. I’m not talking childbirth… I’m talking earth shattering, world crumbling, bring you to your knees kind of hurt. My heart was broken by the last person that I ever would have imagined would do something like that. No, it wasn’t intentional, and this “hurt” wasn’t directed at me…but if affected me, and many people around me, who I love dearly…including my kids. A part of their innocence was stripped away, and once again, as much as I try to protect them, sometimes I just can’t.  But, I refuse to just sit back and let my kids handle these situations on their own.  I have made a vow to make sure my kids know that Ray and I are always here for them…no matter what.  I have seen firsthand what bottling up your emotions can do to a person, and all it does is eat you up, until you have nowhere to escape.

I’m not going to lie. When this “hurt” first happened, I didn’t want to get out of bed. I didn’t want to go out of the house. I didn’t want to answer my phone. I didn’t want to eat. I didn’t even want my morning coffee. After a few days of this, I realize it wasn’t healthy. What good was this doing anyone? What kind of a wife am I being? What kind of an example am I setting for my kids? I have always told them, “stand up, brush it off, you’re ok.” And now, here I am, not even following any of my own advice…I needed change.

Once you have experience that deep kind of hurt, you have two choices. You can either let it eat at you, just like the one that hurt you did, and become bitter…or you can take that hurt and make the choice to let it better you. I have made a choice to set the example for my kids and learn from this.   Over the last 2 years I have learned that NONE of my tears will be wasted. I know that no matter how out of control life seems sometimes, God is always in control. I know that no matter how alone a person might feel, you’re never alone. God is always with us. I know that I need to continue to be the best wife, mom, sister, daughter, and friend that I know how to be.

As a Mom I need to be present for them, not absent in thoughts. I need to be better, not bitter. I need to be showing grace, not turning my back. I need to be sharing my feelings, not bottling them up. I need to be a friend, not someones enemy. I need to be ALL of the things that Ray and I try everyday to instill in our kids…I know more situations will arise throughout their lives that I won’t be able to protect them from. This is part of the growing process right?  As long as we keep instilling these values that we believe in so much, hopefully their growing pains will only make them better.

  I love listening to my kids read…especially around 5 or 6 years old. They are just getting the hang of it and still pronouncing some things wrong…and for me, sometimes it’s just too cute to correct. 

Elijah (my 1st grader) was reading to me the other night. He has gotten really good at reading over the summer, so I don’t have to constantly hover over him while he’s reading… This night, I decided to lay down while he reading to me. It was a Halloween book that he chose so I knew the idea of the story. He was reading to me about “wherecloves” and “skeet-lones”. Now, I don’t know about other parents, but sometimes I can’t help but get the giggles. It’s not that I am laughing at my child, I just think it’s too stinkin’ cute. So of course, I roll over on my stomach and put my head down because not only am I giggling because I have never heard of these words, I am trying to figure out what the heck they are! For the most part, I can match a mispronounced word, but this night I was out of ideas. I pulled myself together, and asked him to read the page again (while I hovered) and saw that he was reading about “werewolves” and “skeletons”. There is a small part of me secretly wished that night that Elijah would stay this little forever… and mispronounce words in books forever. 

Another night we were reading a tractor book that has tabs that you pull up. Well, this particular tab had a pile of sheep hair on it, and when you lifted the tab it said, “Look at all that wool!”. Well, Elijah was lifting the tabs at a pretty fast pace that night because there was a race to see who could get their toothpaste on their toothbrushes fastest! (Anyone else have competitive contests like that?) Anyway, with a quick glance Elijah yells out, “Look at all that WOOOO”…there was no hiding the giggles this time. We were ALL rolling around on the floor laughing, saying “Look at all that WOO!” I’m so glad that Elijah has such a great sense of humor and found it laughable too. 

Isn’t it nice to look at the world around us through the eyes of a child sometimes? Kids aren’t perfect, and neither are we. I love looking at my kids and just being inspired by their transparency. So go ahead, it’s ok to laugh at yourself sometimes. (Lord knows I do it all the time)

Life’s too short to take it so seriously!

I’m sure you, just like me, can remember certain times in your life where others have taught you a very valuable lessons. Whether it be a parent, a friend, or a complete stranger…I have learned alot of lessons in my 30 years. Some are a little bit more profound than others, but nontheless, there are lessons to be learned everywhere. I found a notebook earlier today where I jotted down some of the so called “innocent” things that my children have done in their younger years, where we learned valuable lessons, so I figured I would share a few.

I’ll start with my favorite. Emaleigh was 4 1/2 and her favorite movie at the time was Little Rascals. Her and Elijah (who was 2 at the time) were playing in the front yard. They were pretending to be race car drivers, just like the Little Rascals. They had been playing and laughing for quite some time, when all of the sudden, like it had come out of a megaphone, I hear Emaleigh say, “Come on, bitch!” (Now…before you stop reading my blog because you now think I am a bad parent for speaking such language in front of my kids…let me explain. If you recall the movie, Little Rascals, there is a little boy named Butch who is the bully. Apparently, I was unaware that’s the part that Elijah was playing). Ok back to my 4 year old yelling profanities…in our front yard…while neighbors are outside. I calmly look over at her and say, “Emaleigh, what did you say?” Bad idea. She says, “I said, Come on bitch!”, with a look on her face that is so innocent, all I could do was grit my teeth, and smile.  At this point I can just feel my face flushing of all color and say, “Emaleigh, that is not a word that we use. That’s a very bad word.”  She just continues to smile (knowing she has done nothing wrong) and says, “But Mommy, that’s the bullies name in Little Rascals.”  That’s the day that my daughter learned that “bitch” is in fact a bad word, and not the name of the bully.

Another time, Emaleigh was about the same age and we were driving in the car. We were singing along to the music, when I hear her say, “Mommy, God must have had a knife, huh?”…I turn down the music trying to figure out what kind of an answer I am going to need to explain this one. I said, “Why do you say that?” And her response was simply, “Well, how else did we get our buttcracks?” That’s the day I learned that we needed to take a break from making Play-do people.

This past summer we decided to get another dog to try and keep Chewy busy. Well that didn’t last long. Not only was the dog a little “iffy”, he was a little too friendly when the kids wanted to play outside. One day, Elijah came inside so upset, and he said, “Mommy, I don’t like playing outside anymore because Spike always wants me to give him piggy-back rides.” That’s the day Elijah learned to run REALLY fast to the swing set.

Hopefully this put a smile on your face, because I know it did mine. I encourage all parents to look for lessons in all situations…trust me, there usually is one. And that will be “the day you learned…”

The day Emaleigh and Elijah learned what Port-A-Potties are.

    Wow. My first blog…ever! This is pretty exciting to me, as you can tell. I have so many thoughts on what I could or should write about, but I’ll keep it to what ‘s been on my mind all day…here it goes!

 Eight years ago today, God blessed me with a daughter…and I became a Mother for the very first time at 22 years old.  As soon as I saw her, my life was changed forever. She was beautiful. They never told me how beautiful she would be.  I remember when she would wake up in the middle of the night, and I would just rock her…and watch her sleep.  I would sit there in awe, imagining what it would be like when she was older. They never told me how fast those times really do fly by.

Now looking back I see Emaleigh, 2 years old, meeting her brand new baby brother, “Beebee Yijah”, for the first time. Then, when she was 3 years old, dancing and singing in every princess costume imaginable. My big 4 year old starting preschool and really letting her Daddy’s personality shine through…making friends with everyone.  Wow, she’s 5 and starting Kindergarten…trying to run home during recess because she missed her Mommy. My first grader is now 6 and has calluses on her hand like she’s been doing the monkey bars all of her life. So excited at 7 to be a big sister for the second time, and being a little “mini mommy” helping at every opportunity she gets. And now 8…She has blossomed into the most beautiful, smart, kind, energetic and sassy little girl that I have ever come to love.

Tonight, I sit here feeling so blessed to be a mother of 3. They never told me just how blessed I could feel.

Happy Birthday Emaleigh.